My Abusive Relationship

As I sit and type this, I have a couple bruises on my right arm from someone’s spider guard 4 days ago. My left ankle feels like it has a bruise (although I can’t see it.) My shins feel like I walked into a coffee table in the middle of the night. My abs are sore and I’m a little tired. All of this is a result of my jiu jitsu training. The thing is, I’ll be at the next class at 5pm tomorrow.

I’m physically beat (in more ways than one) and yet I’ve never felt better.

It’s more than physical exhaustion. It seems at least once a week I’ll be in class watching someone perform a move. As I watch I think “I’ll be shocked if I pull that one off.” Other times I’ll watch the move, pay careful attention, and think I’ve got a good understanding, until I try it. Watching someone who is really good at triangles hit one looks amazing, and I can only imagine what it looks like when I try to hit one.

I leave beaten and brusied, wondering if I can pick up the small details. But I always come back. This might be the first time in my life that I’ve been aching, sore, exhausted and yet dying to get back and do it again.